i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
