it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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