Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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