She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
