woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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