I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
