I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
