We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
