He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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