ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
