I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
