If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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