Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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