; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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