you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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