Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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