You can't special order awesome
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
