She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
