If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
