boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
