SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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