just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
