47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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