It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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