You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
