I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
