If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
