Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
