I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
