I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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