that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
