note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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