I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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