The maid of honor just puked.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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