butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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