we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
