Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Two words: nipple clamps
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