She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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