Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
