Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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