you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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