Pants 0. Shit 1.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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