Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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