So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
