There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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