If that was your dad, he is hot
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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