a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
