I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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