I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
