oh god the rape fog is back!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
