so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
this boner is exhausting
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
